I think sex scenes in romance books are a good thing. There is a litmus test though. Erotica is decidedly B-grade. If the romance needs the sexual content to stand up, it falls over into the erotica B-grade basket. Much the same as a great psychological thriller stands up without the blood and gore. Do you have a strong psycho-thriller if you change nothing and simply delete the blood & gore scenes? Do you have a strong romance if you change nothing and simply delete the sex scenes (close that bedroom door)? That's the litmus test IMO. Sex/gore are useful to add spice to an already powerful story.
That said, there is nothing wrong with B-grade stories done deliberately. Erotica and blood & gore are easy, cheap-thrill material, and perfect if that's what you're in the mood for.
I think profanity has its place in modern dialogue. In real life, men in the company of other men are crude and profane. Right or wrong that is the way it is. Children should never be exposed to profanity. Women should not be exposed to profanity unless they use it themselves and set that standard. That's the way most people I know behave - it's what reads well in books for me. But again, if the story needs profanity to stand up???
